Please bear with me here. This is quite the depressing story, but I have to share my feelings right now...I feel helpless and so sad...and this is kinda my way to journal it.
This evening Brett and I were reminded how very precious life can be and how things can change in the matter of moments. On our way out to do errands this evening Brett witnessed a man riding his motorcycle get hit by another car. I thankfully did not see the actual impact but it was shocking enough to Brett that it took him a moment or two to actually realize what he just saw. From the back seat of our car I had seen enough of the accident and screamed to Brett to pull over. I swear the car wasn't even completely stopped before I was out of the car running to the guy. He was unresponsive when I got to him....and even my experience as an ICU nurse could not have prepared me for this. I had never done CPR on someone outside of the hospital/patient setting and I would have never thought it would be so different. First off, the shock of the accident happening when of course you're not expecting it. Then it's doing CPR without having the hospital resources like a code cart or oxygen or even your coworkers, which is how it's normally done with me. (Ironically enough this morning I took my re-certification class for ACLS- Advanced Cardiac Life Support and on Monday took my Basic CPR renewal class) I was the 1st to get to him and before I knew there were thankfully more then a 1/2 dozen others helping out with the CPR. Brett was running between the car (where Brooklyn was) and us as I hollared out for things we needed. Everything happened like it was slow motion....the Paramedics took what seemed like FOREVER to get to us. I just kept thinking to myself that this guy needed to be intubated and put on a cardiac monitor among many other things and I didn't have any of that. All I could do was chest compressions and mouth to mouth and even with that I felt helpless. Paramedics finally arrived and took over, but as I watched from the sidelines it looked like even what they were doing with all their equipment and resources was helpless. All I could do at that point was cry. I do know enough to say that he probably didn't survive, but part of me wants to hold on to the lil hope that he did. Who knows if I'll ever know. We left after brett gave the cops some information and that brings me to now. All evening long Brett and I have talked about the whole situation. Even after only sleeping 2.5 hours last night I can't fall sleep and my mind is racing. I keep reliving the details in my mind, thinking what could I have done differently and if that could potentially made a difference. Then I think what if we would have left the house a few seconds earlier, could we have been part of that accident?! The shock still so new and I keep thinking that this man, who I don't even know his name, is most likely not going to go home. It tears my heart to think he was probably on his way home from work and his family was expecting him.... I cry for his family. Someone tonight just got the wind knocked out of them as they got the news and now their life turned upside down. I pray for them. I also can't help but cherish my loved ones that much more tonight. I ache of the thought of that happening to me and thank god for the blessings in my life. Tonight is truly a reminder of all of that. Life is extremely precious. Lesson for me is to cherish my loved ones, family and friends and to make sure they know it...every day and every moment of the day. Please do me the favor and hug those close to you let them know how much you love them and what they mean to you.